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Death Don’t Scare Me None

*I wrote this note on Facebook on Monday, September 14th*


I am going to share something publicly with you all. I realize this note will come off a little weird, emo, and perhaps too late. For anyone who feels adverse to what they’re about to read, I truly do apologize.

Tonight on Twitter I was candid about my health because of actor Patrick Swayze’s death. I confessed to a very large number of people, some I barely know, that I’m indeed diagnosed with a terminal brain condition. I’ve known about this for a year and a half, and I’ve kept it from a lot of people…some very close to me. I seemingly have the same brain issues that plague my mother: swelling, fluid blockage, memory loss, prone to fatigue and a laundry list of other shit that’ll just depress the hell out of all of us.

Anyway, I was told by end of this year, it’s lights out for your boy. Now normally I’d be boo-hooing my ass off and all that but I took into account how rich, and beautiful, and full my life is. I really have lived a charmed life. I guess reading about Swayze’s death, being surrounded by folks he loved, motivated me to share and also extend my wish that I’d like the same thing if my condition should worsen. There is some good news.

I can opt for a slight surgery (secretly I had something done a year and a half ago) and that could help me out. There’s even a new kind of procedure that can help remove this mass in my brain. I’ll do what I can to stay on this plane but I’m no longer afraid of dying, family.

But in light of that, I urge you all to reach out to loved ones on more than a passing basis. Try to tell people you care, and really be sincere in your intentions. Follow through and be better than you were before. Always continue and strive to be the best you can be.

If I’m to die, remember me and celebrate me and don’t take pity on me. I don’t need pity. I don’t need a lot of “hang in theres” and the like. I’m as fine as I’m going to be considering the circumstances. Just do what I asked in the paragraph before. Don’t take your friends and family for granted…not once.

So…to those I’ve not told this to before, and there are plenty, I’m sorry. But now is as good a time as any. Take care of yourselves. Literally.




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